Some members of the Life Force Inner West Support Group, Sydney
March 2021 Newsletter
Greetings to all our Life Force friends, patients, survivors, carers and all those working with and supporting people living with cancer in the community. We are moving into 2021 with hope, courage and enthusiasm, and a strong resolve to continue advancing our valuable supportive care programs here in Sydney and across regional NSW. We’ll keep you posted through the year on all events and programs.
A support group can be a lifeline for people, an opportunity to reflect as they share with others in a safe and understanding space.
It’s about finding meaning, transforming loss and pain into vitality and hope. Not struggling alone, but healing together with others who understand, as only those on a similar path can do. The Life Force programs provide regular support with a holistic approach that embraces the whole human being, with many different elements supporting and reinforcing that healing process.
Inclusive support groups and workshops open to all cancers at all stages and all genders, led by a professional counselling team. Currently being conducted online via Zoom and hoping to resume face to face sessions in conjunction with Zoom in the future.
Wounded Healers
Lift your spirits, renew your confidence and courage.
The value of groupwork as a powerful tool for healing.
Being part of a group can be a powerful source of healing and comfort.
“It was only after he had left hospital that Lee Anderson Brown realised his cancer treatment was not really over.
The medical side was. He had survived surgery, radiation and months of chemotherapy, and doctors agreed he was in remission. For this he was grateful.
But emotionally, he still felt like a man afflicted. The cancer experience had so saturated his life that he found it impossible to pick up where he had left off.
Yet that was the expectation. Others urged him back to work and back to having a good time. He tried, but internally he felt crippled.
Brown, now 37, managed to resume work as a machinist and struggled along for more than a decade until something quite unexpected happened. He saw a pamphlet for a cancer support group and, although it was not the sort of thing he would normally respond to, he decided to enquire.
With considerable reservations, he went to the support group...”
Excerpt from …
"Share the pain, shed the tears and let the good times roll again"
Jill Margo | Man Trouble
Sydney Morning Herald, Thursday, March 9th, 1995
Lee came to one of our Life Force support groups in the Inner West. He discovered that ‘in the group he finally found people who could understand the feelings he had kept hidden for so long.’
Cancer Council NSW research has shown that people who take part in support groups have lower levels of anxiety and depression than those who don’t.
In the 25 years since Life Force first began running its support groups, much has changed in what is now known about the cancers that 150 000 Australians will be diagnosed with in 2020, and many advances have been made in treatments.
But the human experience of fear remains, and the desperate feelings that keep us awake at night and overwhelmed with worry and anxiety continue. This emotional roller coaster doesn’t need to be endured alone.
As wounded healers, we are all such gifts to each other. By attending a support group, much of the power of these distressing emotions can be reduced, and skills can be learned to manage distressing emotions. Each Life Force group meeting includes a guided imagery session. “They are ‘the healing balm’ to end each session”, as one of the group members puts it so beautifully.
Reading the stories on our Life Force website gives an insight into how this happens.
Lee’s story expresses it so well: “I found that to share another’s tears was finally to express the tears I repressed so long ago; to share another's fear was to feel the strength of a common bond, and to be touched by another's pain was to feel my own pain lessen because it no longer seemed so absolutely mine.” You can read more of Lee’s story on the Life Force website.
Particularly interesting were discussions around…
- Supporting survivors to address long term biopsychosocial consequences of cancer and treatment to optimise living well.
- Equality and equity in cancer care.
- Stigma and discrimination resulting in poorer access to healthcare for minority groups.
- Some of the barriers to First Nations peoples engaging in healthcare.
Survivorship brings with it many challenges
In 2001, Life Force Cancer Foundation in conjunction with TAFE NSW, conducted what was one of the first programs to address survivorship issues, called “Life Skills for Cancer Survivors”, a nine week course for people struggling to deal with the many challenges that arise in the aftermath of cancer. The course addressed personal, relationship and work issues, and taught skills to help cancer survivors recover their sense of self and re-engage with life – a kind of survival kit.
The end of treatment does not mean the end of cancer’s effect on your life. In fact, it can be just the beginning, as the enormity of the experience really hits.
Life Force is hoping to deliver this course again in the near future.
Going back to “Normal”
Many people find themselves floundering once they leave the caring arms of their treatment team, when active treatment has been completed. This is a critical stage of recovery, as patients are thrust back into the world and expected to get on with life. They might feel lost, alone and unsupported. All these feelings are normal. Facing these feelings and learning how to deal with them is important.
Learning to live with uncertainty
Fear of recurrence is a natural response, and fears, worries and anxiety can plague people causing sleeplessness, difficulty relating to partners and close family and friends. Finding support is important. Being able to express your feelings of fear or uncertainty with a support group can be liberating. Being open and dealing with emotions helps many people feel less worried. Putting the lid on these emotions doesn’t make them go away. Learning skills to manage disturbing thoughts and feelings is important. Relaxation techniques and guided imagery are wonderful ways of coping with distressing emotions.
Finding support to enhance resilience
Emotional support can be a powerful tool for both cancer survivors and their families. Talking with others who are in situations like yours can help ease loneliness. You can also learn life skills to support your immune system and optimise healthy living. Support in any form allows you to express your feelings and develop coping skills. Studies have found that people who take part in support groups have an improved quality of life, including better sleep, appetite and general outlook. Group members can share tears and laughter as they find their way forward together. Life Force Support groups can help survivors rebuild their lives after cancer.
Call Caro: 0425 296 698 or Jane: 0412 643 751 or for NSW regional programs call Jilly on 0408 610 362
December 2020 Newsletter
We all do sincerely hope you have had a peaceful year despite all the challenges many of you may have faced.
On top of all that, in our community many are dealing with cancer, coming to terms with surviving cancer and/or supporting loved ones with cancer.
The challenge to keep going each day will have been especially difficult this year for these people and there has been much loss for many of our people.
We are proud to say that at Life Force Cancer Foundation we have carried on and you can read inspiring stories from our participants and reports from our counsellors and chairperson in the attached Life Force newsletter.
We can only provide the on going support with donations from people and organisations such as yourselves and appreciate any assistance you can provide
Enjoy the reading and the season!
June 2020 Newsletter
I sincerely hope this newsletter finds you well, as it’s certainly been a challenging time for all of us. Many will have fears for health, work and/or security and especially when the world in general seems at unrest. In addition, in Australia this is all following on from the bushfires, drought and floods.
April 2020 Newsletter
Today we are facing challenging times trying to cope with uncertainty while making choices as to how we want to live. People all over the world are experiencing this right now with the advent of COVID-19 but this has always been the reality for people living with cancer.
We want to be able to solve problems and fix things and feel that we are in control.
We want to believe that everything will turn out OK. But we have no guarantees as to what the outcome is going to be. So, when everything seems out of control, it may be more helpful to look for a sense of hope and supportive influences.
In a video I saw recently by Kelly McConigal PhD, she talked about three steps we can take.
They went something like this: (I have added my own words)
- Confirm your identity in any situation when you feel out of control. Regain your sense of self. Reflect on your unique strengths, skills and achievements in life and how far you have come.
- Acknowledge what is difficult; feel the pain, the anger, have permission to articulate the pain and struggle. Have compassion for yourself and allow expression of those feelings.
- People often think “What DO I have control over?”. This can be a reasonable response. But “What can I bring to this situation? What choices can I make?”, is probably a more helpful approach. “Can I choose to be courageous in reaching out for support, finding resources.”
Bring a wise compassionate perspective to the situation. It’s important to acknowledge that we do not need to manage the situation alone. We may need to have a sense of surrender that we can do our best, but we can’t do it all. “This is bigger than me.” “How can I live my best life now, given the cards I have been dealt?”
Being part of a group can be a powerful source of healing. There are lots of things we can do to support ourselves through trying and scary times by coming together and sharing it all.
Many people living with cancer struggle with depression, distress and anxiety related to living with uncertainty. People may tell us that we should just be happy we survived and not worry about the unknown. Despite this, it is okay to talk about our uncertainty and how it makes us feel. Talking with another person about our feelings and what is causing them, can help us understand more clearly what we are feeling and assist us in finding ways to manage those emotions.
If we are uncomfortable talking about certain subjects with our family or friends it might be helpful to talk with others who have, or have had, cancer.
Support groups provide a safe environment to share experiences with others in a similar situation, learn new ways to handle difficult situations and to talk about our emotions. We will get to see different styles of coping with stress and adjusting to life after a cancer diagnosis, during the treatment stage and beyond.
Coping with the challenges of living with cancer during this COVID-19 crisis can bring extra stress. To allay the extra sense of isolation, you might like to join our Life Force online support groups.
Contact Jane on 0412 643 751 or Caro on 0425 296 698.
For regional NSW people, contact Jilly on 0408 610 362 or Sharon on 0413 003 379.
Resources:
Now we are facing a whole new world, how can we be flexible and creative in the current circumstances? We have an opportunity to change the way we live, to find that another way of living is possible.
Ancient and simple forms of healing can help us to support our own wellbeing.
Finding ways to self soothe, such as gentle exercise in the form of yoga or qigong, art making, meditating and learning relaxation techniques can be helpful and even joyful. For example, you might discover that you enjoy writing poetry. Give it a try.
Meanwhile as we reach out to each other with loving kindness, we send caring thoughts and wishes for your health and safety during this difficult time.
Jilly Pascoe
Life Force Founder/Director
Wise Hope
Excerpt from an article by Joan Halifax
Wise hope doesn’t mean denying realities. It means facing them.
Wise hope is not seeing things unrealistically but rather seeing things as they are, including the truth of suffering - both its existence and our capacity to transform it. It’s when we realize we don’t know what will happen that this kind of hope comes alive; in that spaciousness of uncertainty is the very space we need to act.
Too often we become paralyzed by the belief that there is nothing to hope for—that our cancer diagnosis is a one-way street with no exit. It becomes easy to think that nothing makes sense anymore, or that we have no power and there’s no reason to act.
But wise hope doesn’t mean denying these realities. It means facing them, addressing them, and remembering what else is present.
The Czech statesman Václav Havel said, “Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” We can’t know, but we can trust that there will be movement, there will be change.
Dostoyevsky said, “To live without hope is to cease to live.” We are called to live with possibility, knowing full well that impermanence prevails.
* * * *
“And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and grew gardens full of fresh food, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.
"And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.
"And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.
~ Kitty O'Meara
How you can help
Life Force is a not-for-profit foundation so we can only survive on the generosity of the community. You can help. The constant plea for “less than the price of a cup of coffee a week” is a truth.
If we have 300 people contributing $10, $20 or $30 a month to our "Friends for Life" club, we can run the three support groups we have been providing for many years. Then when our Corporate Friends contribute a quarterly or annual lump sum we can offer day or weekend retreats and seminars.
We cannot organise very important fundraising events, seminars or retreats without our Life Force Angels, our wonderful volunteers. Consider becoming part of the Life Force Family by joining our Band of Angels.
Your financial donation of $2 and over is tax deductible, and every contribution will mean the world to someone, maybe someone whom you have never met or never will, but someone who is terrified they may not make it. Someone who has just been diagnosed, who’s praying before every meeting with their oncologist that their markers have decreased. Someone who goes home to young children hoping they will see them grow up. Someone just scared. Your donation will give us the means to give them support in a warm, safe place.
Thank you in advance for any help you can give!
Nina Witenden
Life Force Foundation President
2021 © All Rights Reserved. Website by Cloud Concepts